Raise your hand if this is you: you're looking at your calendar wondering where you can squeeze in an extra 5 minutes to work on your latest hobby project you started months ago. You're looking at your day's schedule thinking "I'll never be able to make this appointment on time!"
I'm raising my hand with you!! Time management with a busy schedule is key. But, what if you're just busy to be busy?
I've had this thought many times: Am I really this busy? Between work, church activities, sports games, home projects and everything else, I easily found my schedule each day filling to the brim - sometimes overflowing. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to find one thing to eliminate to make myself less busy. I wanted to do it all!
Recently, I've discovered the effects of being too busy. I found myself exhausted after a day that was supposed to be "less packed". I found myself struggling to fit in things that were more important than others. What was happening?
I often find myself thinking that in order to be productive and successful, I have to be busy every second of every day. This isn't true. You don't need to fill every second with a task or an appointment. I'm finding that's not a healthy way to live, and it often puts on more stress than you need.
So, here's 5 ways I'm learning to slow down in life and just enjoy moments and where I'm at right now. It doesn't have to be perfect or pretty. It just has to work for you.
1. Take A Deep Breath
This may seem self-explanatory, but have you ever noticed that when you're running ragged trying to get things done that you forget to breathe? I know I do. I realized I wasn't breathing normally when I was trying to start dinner, clean up the dishes, and vacuum the house all at the same time. I took a deep breath, and man did I feel a ton of relief!
If you're feeling like you're overwhelmed from multiple tasks at once, just pause and take a few deep breaths. It'll do wonders for you. It also helps slow down your heart rate because let's face it, if you're trying to complete 4 different tasks at once, chances are your heart is working in overdrive to keep up with your physical activity.
2. Prioritize Your To-Do List
If your to-do list is 8-pages long, you probably have too much scheduled for one day. I used to be that way. Anything I thought of that needed done, I would just add it to the current day's to-do list. And I quickly learned that sets really high and unrealistic expectations. You can't possibly finish that entire list in one day. Not without completely exhausting yourself in the meantime.
Take a look at your to-do list and give priority to things that absolutely need done today. Number them and work your way through the numbers. BUT, don't rush through your tasks just to get them done. If a task normally takes you an hour to complete, don't cut corners and do it in 30 minutes. Spend time completing your tasks and enjoying them. Even if it's that load of laundry you absolutely hate folding - enjoy the time you have to fold it.
3. Set a Timer
I definitely have found myself taking too much time on a task that I know only takes a certain amount of time. I particularly see myself doing this when I'm decluttering or cleaning a room. I spend way too much time going through each piece of paper or item that I end up spending 2 hours on the decluttering process, when it should only take 45 minutes.
To help with this, I usually set a timer for the amount of time I know it usually takes to complete a task (like I mentioned in #2 above). Set your timer, and get to work. When the timer goes off, stop your task and move onto the next one. Every now and then the current tasks needs an extra minute or two to get to a good stopping place (i.e., don't leave the toilet seat soaking wet with spray cleaner, but take the extra minute to wipe it up), and THAT'S OKAY! Don't stress over the feeling that your timer went off and you have to move onto the next task or you'll be behind in your schedule. That's not the point of this - I want you to be able to complete your to-do list priorities without acquiring the extra stress of needing to get everything done in one day.
Once you've gone through all of your tasks with your timer, your to-do list is done for the day. If there's a small task that takes 20 minutes to complete that didn't make your priority list you made earlier, do that if you feel up to it. But don't feel like you have to add an extra task. Jump for joy and reward yourself for completing your task list you set for yourself (I'm coming for you chocolate bar!)
4. Enlist Help
I will be the first to tell you (and my husband will back me up on this) that I'm almost never asking anybody for help. I'm an independent woman, right? I can handle everything on my own. WRONG! And you shouldn't have to handle everything on your own.
I'm blessed to have a husband that wants to help. He even asks me what he can do to help me, and my answer 99.99999% of the time is "Nothing, I've got it". It has taken me a long time to answer him with a task that I feel good giving to him, and even now I'm struggling to keep that habit up!
Often times, for us women, it's easy to just take things on ourselves. If you're like me, you always question why you would want to burden someone else with your small task when you can just do it yourself? I also have the mindset some days where I think "if I want it done the way I like, I need to do it myself". That's not always the case either.
Enlist the help of those you live with - your husband, wife, roommate, teens, kids, friends, etc. I'll let you in on a little secret - your loved ones aren't mind-readers. They can't sense when you're drowning in tasks and need help. So, you have to be the one to let them know that you need a little help completing your daily task list.
For me, that was asking my husband to clean our bathrooms every week. I'm shamefully admitting that I'm not the best at cleaning, but it's enough to keep our house visibly clean. From working in retail, I've hated cleaning bathrooms, and still do to this day. Thankfully, my husband doesn't mind it and willingly cleans them. That doesn't mean that if I get a spurt of energy, that I go in and wipe down the counters or spray some bowl cleaner for good measure between cleans. But, I'm thankful that he's willing to help with that task so I can focus on other house chores.
We also trade-off on the dishes. By this I mean that I'm usually the one to empty the dishwasher and refill it. He'll usually finish filling it with containers and dishes from his lunchbox and then run it. On top of that, he'll hand-wash any dishes that need it that are left in the sink. He doesn't mind doing dishes so that's another thing I was able to ask for his help with.
5. Schedule Time for Yourself
Now, this is the one I struggle with the most. My husband will be the first to tell you that I'm always putting others before myself. I'm almost NEVER doing something for myself if I have a free moment. I'm always making sure everyone else is taken care of first, then I worry about myself if I have the extra time.
This doesn't help your well-being. Don't get me wrong, it's great to take care of others. But you need to take care of yourself in order to be able to care for someone else. I'm learning that now. I spend countless hours trying to make sure everyone is taken care of that I forget to schedule time for myself to just relax and do what I enjoy.
For me, this is taking the time to make room in my schedule to read, crochet, take a nap, or light my favorite candle and watch a show I don't really need to think through. Make these activities something that you don't need to use your brain for. Let your brain rest. It needs it, just like your body needs rest after a workout.
It's hard for me to actually sit down and really "do nothing". The other day, my husband told me to curl up on the couch with our puppy and take a nap after work. Did I do that? No! I had every intention of doing that until I walked in the door and saw that cleaning and dishes needed to be done. So, the first thing off my to-do list that I could scratch off to make room for these two chores I just discovered, was time for myself. I didn't nap, read, or work on any crochet projects that evening, and I found myself exhausted. I didn't give myself time to rest.
I've been trying to do better at scheduling time for myself. It's usually in the evenings, after we've had dinner. Try and schedule time for yourself after the kids have gone to bed. It doesn't have to be complete alone-time. It could be an hour-long episode of a show you and your spouse are watching together, or a call with a best friend to catch up. Whatever you like to do in your free time that helps you pull away from the stress of everyday life.
I hope these tips help you throughout each day. I know I'll be working to put these habits into my daily routines more and more.
Happy relaxing!
~ Amanda
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